Why have I spent so much time on this site?

Celebration of Michael's Life!

What others say about Michael!

What happened to Michael

A MUST for anyone wanting to know how we feel!

Grief & Helps

More on Grief

My journey of tears

My Child has Neurofibromatosis

For me

I want to Laugh & Dance

Message from dad

Little sister, "best buds"

Poems by Grandma,

Poem by sister

I started writing our story

Youth for Christ Camp

Friends in Heaven

When Michael was young

Kitty wants to tell you something, Michael


My bio

Are we killing our children?

I would love an e-mail

or can sign a guest book


Gifts given to me, thankyou!

What people have said about this site

Long overdue Thank You's


    This is an excerpt from Michael's near empty baby album.

    At 3 months we took Michael to the hospital, he was very sick near death. Even though he was a pretty baby and had a beautiful smile; I hardly took any pictures of him.

    Life was very miserable for both him and me. I do not remember much of what took place between 3 months to 2 years of age. He was always sick.

    This was under "Things we would like to remember..."

    Michael was a quiet child; he kept to himself or adults. Other children were so much more advanced that they would pick on him. He had constant earaches and to remember all of this makes me hurt inside and cry. I got very little sleep because of his crying to be fed and feeding him only to have him throw up or have diarrhea.

    one year

    here he is almost 2

    He started getting better after he got tubes in his ears. The doctor said that his ears made him sick, made him lose his balance and he couldn't hear.

    He weighed 14 pounds at a year old and didn't start gaining till after the tubes were put in. He really started gaining after his tonsils and adenoids were taken out. He went from wearing 1-year shorts in the summer to wearing 3-yr. Clothes the next summer. He missed a whole year's worth of clothes.

    Excerpts from "Fifth Year Growth..."

    He has grown so fast these last 2 years. He has a good self-confidence and minds very well. He just started writing his name and learning basics. He seemed to wait so long to do everything but once he did start he learned everything fast.

    From baby to 4 years I have not recorded anything. Michael started getting better about 3 and years. I didn't want to record what he did because he did everything so late and I went through a lot of pain.
    So much was forgotten, I think it was God's grace to me.

    I am so thankful he is better. He is such a happy and wonderful child. He acts like a boy should now. He's kind of ornery but very sweet.

    He likes to tell funny stories and loves to give away his great drawings!

    He helps with the baby, cleans his room, and washes the stove and fridge.

    He's my little joy!

    Michael, Grandma, and Charity having an exercise moment


    I called Michael my little joy in his baby book when he was 4.

    He was so much of a joy and I needed joy at that time of my life. The man I was married to was an abusive alcoholic.

    Life was very hard. Although Mr. ex never laid an abusive hand on the children or me, Mr. ex was so abusive in other ways. I didn't believe in divorce so I stayed with him for 16 years, praying all the time that he would open his life to Christ.

    Mr. Ex left us Valentines Day of '95. It was a blessing in disguise! The children and I voted NO for Mr. ex to come back when he asked 3 months later.

    The life with Mr. ex was hard, but I found my joy in my children. They each were so special but Michael is the one who had the biggest heart.

    He would bring me tea when I was crying and try to cheer me up. He showed compassion in so many ways. He kept this compassion all his life and later focused it on the young ladies he dated.

    I would get comments from their mothers saying that Michael was the only boyfriend the girls had that their mothers and fathers could trust. Michael kept friends with all his old girlfriends the rest of his life. He showed respect to the girls and that made a difference in their lives. I have heard time and time again that he brought so much into their lives. I often wonder why he didn't get engaged to any of them.

    Underneath it all I really believed he knew that he wouldn't live a normal life span. He had been told by the doctors when he was 9 that he would die, go blind, go deaf, or be paralyzed when he was 20, 40, or 60. He told me he never wanted to loose his sight or go deaf or be paralyzed. He would rather die.

    (Much to my heart break)... He got his wish. He never reached 21.

    What I learned June 25, 2002

    I felt that disaster had fallen on our home when Michael got sick and died.
    But according to the Bible that couldn't have happened.

    Psalm 91:9-11
    " If you make the Most High your dwelling
    even the Lord, who is my refuge-
    Then no harm will befall you
    no disaster will come near your tent
    For He will command His angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways. "

    So Michael's death couldn't have been a disaster or the Bible is lying.

    Michael lived a full and complete life, even though it was short.
    His life touch a lot of people.
    Michael is with Jesus dancing on those golden streets.
    He is healed and happy.
    So how could his death be called a disaster?

    Praise God from whom all blessings flow. My child is in Heaven not Hell.
    Isn't that the most important thing in all the world?