Grab a cup of tea and 'raw sugar' cookies and
 get ready to Laugh!
This is the funniest thing I have found on the internet yet!!!
( For you who are not very computer literate.... Remember it is all flash and has nothing to do with your real computer! )
(have your speakers on)
http://www.nata2.info/humor/flash/windows_rg.swf
(is kid safe... if it changes please let me know, thank you)
A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit
jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but
unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a
sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what
has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver
feels so awful that he begins to cry. A beautiful blonde woman driving down
the
highway sees a man crying on the side of a road and pulls over.
She steps
out
of the car and asks man "What's wrong?"
"I feel terrible," he explains, "I
accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't
worry."
She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp,
dead rabbit, bends down and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit
jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road. Ten
feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the
road
another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves,
and
repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight. The man
is astonished.
He runs over to the woman and demands, "What is in that can?
What did you spray on that rabbit?"
The woman turns the can around so that
the
man can read the label. It says. . .
(Are you ready for this?)
(Are you sure?)
(This is bad!)
(You know you're gonna be sorry)
(Last chance)
(OK, here it is)
It says, "Hair Spray - Restores life to dead hair,...adds permanent wave."
A man enters a bar and orders a drink.
The bar has a robot bartender.
The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him,
"What's your IQ?" The man replies "150"
and the robot proceeds to make conversation about quantum physics,
string theory, atomic chemistry, etc. The customer is very impressed and thinks,
"This is really cool." He decides to test the robot.
He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink.
Again, the robot serves him the drink and asks him,
"What's your IQ?" The man responds, "100.
Immediately the robot starts talking,
but this time, about football, NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, etc.
Really impressed, the man leaves the bar
and decides to give the robot one more test.
He goes back in, the robot serves him and asks,
"What's your IQ? The man replies, "30."
And the robot says,
"So, you gonna vote for Hillary?"
Given that Al Gore has no job, he decided to take a sightseeing
vacation to Europe. While visiting Europe, he is invited to
tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy
is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent
people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent. "I do
so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen. "Allow
me to demonstrate."
She phones Toni Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister, please
answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father
has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who
is it? Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and goodbye, sir," says the Queen. She
hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Gore?"
"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"
Upon returning home, he decides he'd better put some of his old
friends to the test. He calls Bill Clinton and says, "Hi,
Bill, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, Al. What's on your mind?" "Uhh, your mother
has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not
your brother or sister. Who is it?" Clinton hems and haws and
finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?" Gore
agrees and Clinton hangs up.
Clinton immediately calls members of his old staff, and they
puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come
up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation, Clinton calls Colin Powell at the
State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, your
mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child
is not your brother or sister. Who is it?" Powell answers
immediately, "It's me, of course, you idiot."
Much relieved, Clinton rushes back to call Gore and exclaims.
"I know the answer Al! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!!
And Gore replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's Tony Blair."
Are you Technologically Challenged? 
Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are technologically
challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin'" yet. This is an excerpt from a Wall
Street Journal article:
-
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press
Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any key" is.
-
2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard
to
control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag
the mouse was packaged in.
-
3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax
anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered
the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.
-
4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer
worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and
soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them
individually.
-
5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged
because
his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid." The tech explained
that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be
taken
personally.
-
6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printin documents. He told
the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find printer." The
user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the printer but
that
his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.
-
7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new
Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the
technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her
response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The
"foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
-
8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand new
computer
wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there
for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened
when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"
-
9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang for
support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put in the
second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to put in
the
third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that
"Insert Disk 2" meant to remove Disk 1 first.
-
10. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
Tech: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
Caller: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
Tech: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am. Did
you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did you get
this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"
Caller: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a
promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't
stand
it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load drawer of
the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and snapped it off the drive.
-
11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was running it under "Windows." The woman
responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The
man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is
working fine."
A local priest and pastor were fishing on the side of the road.
They thoughtfully made a sign saying,
"The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!"
and showed it to each passing car.
One driver that drove by didn't appreciate the sign and shouted at them:
"Leave us alone you religious nuts!"
All of a sudden they heard a big splash, looked at each other,
and the priest said to the pastor .....
"You think we should just put up a sign that said 'bridge out' instead?'"
Here is a very simple little test comprising of four questions to determine the need for Ginkgo Biloba in your diet. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time. And no cheating!
On your mark, get set....GO!!!
1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in second place. In which position are you now?
Answer: If you answered that you're now first, then you're completely wrong. You overtook the second runner and took their place, therefore you're second.
For the next question.
2 : If you overtake the last runner, what position are you now in?
Answer: If you answered second-last, once again you're completely wrong. Think about it...How can you over take the person coming last? If you're behind them then they can't be last. The answer is impossible!!
Here's another to try, don't take any notes or use a calculator, and remember your replies must be instantaneous.
3 : Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000. Add 30. 1000 again. Plus 20. Plus 1000. And plus 10. What is the total ?
Answer: 5000??? Wrong again!!!! The correct answer is 4100. Try again with a good calculator. It might appear that thinking is not one of your strong points. Although you might manage to get the last question ...
4 : Marie's father has five daughters:
1. Chacha
2. Cheche
3. Chichi
4. Chocho
5. ????
Question: What is the fifth daughter's name? Think quickly...you'll find the answer below...
Answer: Chuchu??? WRONG!!!!! It's obviously Marie!!! Read the question again!
Did I hear you say you were heading for the local health food store...
Would you pick me up some too?
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My Child has Neurofibromatosis