home Why have I spent so much time on this site? Celebration of Michael's Life! What others say about Michael! What happened to Michael A MUST for anyone wanting to know how we feel! Grief & Helps More on Grief My journey of tears My Child has Neurofibromatosis For me I want to Laugh & Dance Message from dad Little sister, "best buds" Poems by Grandma, Poem by sister I started writing our story Youth for Christ Camp Friends in Heaven When Michael was young Kitty wants to tell you something, Michael hugs My bio Are we killing our children? I would love an e-mail or can sign a guest book Awards Gifts given to me, thankyou! What people have said about this site Long overdue Thank You's Map

Samuel Clemens, the great American humorist also known as Mark Twain, was grief stricken when he suddenly lost his twenty-four year old daughter, Susy, to meningitis. A master of words, Clemens was unable to articulate his grief, even eight years after her death. What he said, finally, was that trying to put his loss into words was futile. To do so, he wrote, "would bankrupt the vocabulary of all the languages." When ten years passed, he wrote, "It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live." "If only I had done it this way..." This is an unfounded guilt thing, and it gets us good!!! It's one step up from "What ifs" and adds a lot of guilt to our already stressed out mind We start blaming ourselves and others for things that could have been done or should not have done. Even if some of these things are true, fretting over them is no help to us at all. The past can not be changed... but in our still very, very confused minds we can not comprehend this still. I think the same thing I did to help keep the "what ifs" at bay will also help the "if onlys" from ruling your every moment. This too takes time to get over and you have to keep telling Satan to leave you alone, sometimes I had to scream that I would not listen to his lies. I had one friend who helped me with this. By this time in my grief stage people had stopped talking about Michael. Some thought I should be over it all ready. I found that grief made people uncomfortable. so they just acted like things were over and back to normal. Back to Normal will NEVER happen again.... at least not the normal I had before... remember... one baby step at a time... the only way to get through the grief... to the other side where the pain will still be but the happiness returns... Back to My journey of tears Next to "I miss him"