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    "Talk to me about the truth of religion(Christianity) and I'll listen gladly. talk to me about the duty of religion(Christianity) and I'll listen submissively. But don't come talking to me about the consolations of religion(Christianity) or I shall suspect that you don't understand."
                            C. S. Lewis
  • 4. Does or how does the knowledge that God has a plan and that your child being in Heaven help you deal with the pain?

    NO. I am secure in knowing only that Brian is safe, and I will see him , because of the love gift God gave, and the obedience of Jesus, His sacrifice. But this has not touched the rawness of my pain, and from the book of Job, I rest in knowing that God is fine with this honesty, even pleased. He , the glorious Lord God, walks with me in this abyss... and when I get to walk on solid ground, and still when the abyss swallows me again,, , He alone knows the pain, and I rest in that peace, knowing that He knows

    When Ben first died, I was panicked that he wouldn't be in heaven. I prayed literally non-stop for his soul for probably around 6 or more months. Others thought I was obsessive. Then finally I asked God to let me know my prayers were answered and soon I found peace that Ben was waiting for me. Lately some doubts enter my mind but that's probably due to outside stress

    I know she is with God but the pain is unbearable at times

    Sometimes I can accept that God has a Master Plan and that my son fulfilled his purpose and it was time for him to return to Heaven. At other times I am still angry with God for taking my son who was so loved and wanted and yet he gives unwanted babies and children to people who abuse them and neglect them. Why did he take a child so loved and leave these other children to suffer?

    Sometimes, Sometimes not. I know I will be with Conner and Melissa again, its just the time between now and heaven that is so hard to deal with.

    It does, at times, and sometimes i just want to hold her again

    It doesn't change the pain of the here and now but it does make living possible. It is more like a head/heart knowledge. My head knows she is safe with Jesus, my Spirit is comforted and knows that we will reunite at my death or the second coming of Christ. That knowledge does nothing for my empty arms or the echo in my memory of her laughter and smile.

    Knowing that my children are in Heaven is great in aspect to dealing with my grief, there is no more pain for them physically. They are normal and healthy in every way and they are happy. We will be together again one day.

    It is definitely knowledge that has probably kept me alive from killing myself but alleviating the pain, not at all. ONLY someone who has lost a child will understand this. We are only human and I know that God understands our pain.

    It helps to know that perhaps she is in a better place but it does not lessen the pain any. I would still rather have her here with me.

    I couldn't go on without hope. Knowing that my children are safe with God and that I will see them again gives me the will to go on. It doesn't diminish the pain but it gives me peace.

    The only thing I can attribute my sanity to is Jesus Christ and the hope of the life to come. His peace has sustained me, and allowed me to negotiate this realm of grief We all have been forcefully propelled into.

    my belief in heaven became stronger when adam died

    Well, seeing as how he has not let me in on this great plan for all of this horrible pain and that I can not hold my child and watch her grow up ~ Not a lot! But I suppose this is truly the only HOPE I have to hold on to ~ so I cling to this fact and hope and believe someday I will understand and see more~ I know when I get to heaven I will but until then I am not so sure!

    Not much. I know my child is in heaven and is happy and safe but that does not make my life more bearable or the fact that she is no longer here ok. I struggle with anger with God a lot still. I have let most of my anger go. It was too heavy to carry and go on, and I do believe there must be a plan, but I still think that God's plan is messed up.

    It helps me deal with the pain knowing my son is in Heaven and not in pain anymore. I know he was ready to go. He told me before I lost him. I told him once I wish I could take the pain from him. In a sense I guess I have. That does not stop me from grieving and missing him.

    It has been a comfort to me to know that my son is with God Almighty, but I would be far less than truthful if I didn't admit that I want him here with me! It is not natural for a parent to have to bury their own offspring. They are supposed to be here to bury us!

    Knowing that my child is not in pain any more is a comfort, knowing that she is in heaven with our Father is a comfort, but come on ..... I am a Mother, and I am a human Mother at that, my child is dead and nothing else in this whole world will ever matter as much to me again. God's plan is not even as important to me any more, as I said, my world ended the day my Susan died. I will salvage what I was left with and move forward the best I can, I WILL NEVER understand why God's plan has to include taking children before their parent's, it is not int he natural order of life, and I will forever be stunned by my daughter's death.

    The only thing that helps is knowing I will be with him again, but sometimes that doesn't help either. I want him here, not there. I want him now, but knowing that God HAS promised we would be together in Heaven helps me though the days sometimes. Not always. I have learned that I have to accept what God allowed I guess, but I sure don't have to like it. It hurts and there is no way around it.

    At first that knowledge helped maybe for the first 8 months, then I got to the angry stage and was very angry. I was tired of well-meaning Christians saying "at least he's with the Lord" or "at least you know where he is" or even "you still have other children" oh the list goes on and on as I'm sure you can attest. When I read Job again I saw that God rebuked those friends, and blessed Job. You know why? Because they spoke "about" God. Job spoke "to" God. God knows how we feel anyway, might as well be honest eh? So I felt sorry for them that they did not fully understand the God we serve. Now I just wait to see Rolli again, and my life does go on. It took about 3 years to realize that a sunrise was not a bad thing or a sunset a relief.

    It is of some consolation knowing that one day I will be reunited with my son in Heaven. And it is nice to think that he is up there with those who loved him and had gone on ahead of him. But that doesn't change the fact that I want him here with me now....not having to wait till I die to be with him again.

    The god knowledge does me no good. I have lost faith in a god that supposedly is so all loving, but takes what i love the most twice from me in just a few short months. I feel as if god felt it necessary to punish me for something and I don't know what. I kept getting told soon I wouldn't be angry, I would believe again, but its been three years and I still don't believe

    I think I'm having a crisis of faith in this situation. I believe my son is in heaven but it is so cruel for him not to be able to reassure me. People say, "He's better off with God" or "God needed him," and I get angry with God. At least he could give me a clue that my son is okay. ... I did hear the words, "Mom, I'm okay," in my head after my son died. I choose to believe that he did that because he knew how devastated I am now.

    I firmly belief God does have a Plan for each of us, and today I feel God took my son for a reason (a mystery) and we will be together again some day, but this doesn't soften the horrible pain.

    If I didn't believe in God and that I would see my children again, I couldn't go on at all but I can't help but question God's reasons for taking three of my children. Knowing that God has a plan doesn't make living with such devastating losses any easier. In fact, it only makes me ask "WHY" all the more.

    the knowledge of two phrases have kept me going! over the years since my angel died! God never closes a door, without opening A window! and the other is God will never give me more then i can handle, but i don’t know how he knows how strong I am but, i must be stronger then i thought, for I am still here and my angel is in heaven!

    It has got me through day by day... I still question why... Why would God take a 4 yr old boy from a family who loves his soooo much and there are so many kids out there abused and neglected.. BUT Andrew loved God.. He knew there was a Heaven..... He was only 4 but had so much faith.. I know Andrew is in Heaven and I know Andrew is happy... We are the ones left here to hurt...

    I know that time is as of a day is a thousand years and Russell will have just about a short nights sleep before I go to join him IF God leaves me here until I'm about 75 and I was 40 when it happened, now 43.I know he is with my dad and grandma and that he is enjoying every minute of it. He was so much like my dad. He was 16 and always used to tell me mom I'm going to build you such a big house one day, you'll see, in a couple of years you'll see it will be beautiful, I take that now as he is helping building my mansion in Heaven.

    This is a hard question. I know that my babies are in a much better place and will never have to endure the pain felt by the living. That gives me some comfort.

    I didn't even want to hear about God for a long time, I just couldn't understand how this could happen to me, when he was my only son, and he was my life. Plus I had a minister tell me about 2 months after Joshua died that I shouldn't be that upset because Joshua was never mine anyways that God just lent him to me. I said hey buddy do you have kids, and of course he didn't...I said well I would never wish this on anybody but I hope someday you are in my shoes and someone says the same thing to you. When you are that new of a grieving parent you don't need to hear that kind of garbage, and I just wonder how ministers can be so ignorant, and uncaring.

    What plan calls for children to suffer endlessly and die such a horrible death such as my child with cancer for a year. MY God does not DO these things. We were given free will and that goes for everything. Cells have free will as well they either stay healthy or they become infected and spread. Every thing and person has free will.